A drink-driver who almost ploughed into a police car told a court that his car's errant course was purely down to the fact it was a Volkswagen.
Nova Scotian Jeffrey Teague implied that the German cars have a tendency to "swerve"; apparently failing to see the link between his driving and the "four or five" beers he admitted to officers he had been drinking that night.
New Glasgow Provincial Court heard that the 26-year-old was spotted by the town's police, driving towards them without any headlights in the early hours of New Year's Day, according to local source The News.
However, despite police turning on their cruiser's emergency lights, the court heard that Teague continued towards them, resulting in a near miss.
He was later stopped by Mounties, who discovered an open case of beer in the car along with an open can in a cup holder. Teague then failed a roadside sobriety test, followed by two breath tests at a police station.
Incredibly, despite the weight of evidence against him, Teague told the court that he was "not that intoxicated", and said that claims he had almost struck the police car were "a bit exaggerated".
"I was driving a Volkswagen - they swerve anyway," he added.
But the imposingly-named Judge Theodore Tax was unimpressed by Teague's remarkable self-exculpation.
Dishing out a fine of $1,150 Canadian (about £700), Judge Tax banned the defendant from driving any motorised vehicle for a year.
And when Teague queried whether the ban included quad bikes he was given short shrift.
"The only vehicles you can drive are the ones you pedal," Judge Tax added.
